


A Christmas Act

by LittleMissOddball



Series: Fluffy Storm Clouds [3]
Category: AiMiya - Fandom, Arashi (Band), Jpop
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4233678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissOddball/pseuds/LittleMissOddball
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I draw people with my cheerful attitude, my playful guise and my all around charm. But do they know what lies beyond my ten-face?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scene 1: Hiding

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Arashi. They are a super idol group of Johnny's and Associates. Some characters mentioned here are NOT real and are created from the back of my imagination all for the AU.
> 
> Mentioned events are also in no way linked to reality.

(Christmas Day, 5:00 pm...)

“Happiness is useless. It’s fickle. Anyone can affect it; anyone can give it; anyone can take it away. It’s the worst thing in the world.”

I stared at the phrase and felt the tears well up in the corner of my eyes.

My mother’s funeral had just ended and I was left alone in the attic of the small bungalow house that used to be full of joy and heavenly aromas enveloping it.

I was reluctant to come back. I sat, silently staring out the window during the ride back, the back of my head starting to form means of escape so as to avoid reaching our destination.

Part of me told myself that that place no longer held any significance to anything anymore and would rather see it turn to rubble.

But that was just me dismissing the fact that I just didn’t want to bask in the memories that seemed to linger in every corner.

 

But here I was. Downtrodden enough not to notice the December chills passing through holes on the ceiling or my stomach complaining and going through my mother’s Chest of Joy, or so she called it.

I would never forget that giant chest. Two years ago, I ventured into the attic alone to look for books for donation when I stumbled upon it. I was young and believed in pirates and treasure chests. Intrigued, I tried to pry it open, but was stopped when my mother suddenly came trudging my way and gave me a good scolding. I nearly cried at the thought of all that gold just sitting there waiting for a young wannabe pirate to open it up and swim in it.

But I didn’t. As she flashed her smile, forgave me and led me downstairs, where my father waited with delicious egg omelettes. That was the last time the house was truly happy.

But as always, my mother, she wouldn’t let up.

Forgiving easily, believing in others. Always beaming with the biggest smile and spreading happiness, no matter how lonely she was.

Even when she was abandoned by her family.

Even when the man she thought truly loved her left her for someone else.

At night, before tucking me to bed she would tell me, “Happiness is the best thing in the world!”

Again and again, until she died, that’s all I ever heard from her.

I looked at the words scribbled on  the dark leather notebook.

While the words were opposite to what she believed in, I had understood its purpose.

I put back the notebook inside the chest, closed the chest and left the attic.

Wearing the biggest smile a 7-year old could muster.

 

 

(2 Days Before Christmas, 9 years Later)

 

“...ba. Aiba. Aiba!”

I slowly opened my eyes breaking the connection between me and my dreamscape as my name echoed in my ears like an early rooster.

_It’s that time of year, huh?_

“You’ll get sick lying there.”

“Then get sick with me.” I patted the space to my right. “There’s still space to go around.”

“Maybe I should.” He moved closer and positioned himself beside me and let out a sigh. “Prof. Terror getting to you?”

“How dare that nutjob, just because he’s the same age as us. What did I do to deserve Sakurai Terror Prof? Someone kill me now.”

“But I like him. To think someone our age has become a college professor. He must be a genius.”

“Can we not press the subject? Moreover, who’s side are you on?!”

I chuckled lightly. “Sorry sorry.”

“Anyway, are you sure you want to do this today? You look beat, so we should reschedule. I have time next week. Or at least I think I do.”

I jerked upwards. “No way! We’ve been planning Mario Cart for months~! Don’t back out on me now!”

Nino looked at me in contemplation and heaved a sigh of defeat. “Just where do you get your energy from?”

Thinking my eyes would betray me at the words he spoke, I flashed the biggest smile I could. “Aha~! I have my means.” We both stood up and started walking home.

 

Nino and I have been friends since high school and we’ve done so much together. Sports, clubs, hobbies, you name it; all the way to college, we were inseparable. He knows me like the back of his hand.

He knows how I’m the joke of the party, the temperature riser. He knew how effortlessly air-headed I could be and how I can’t stand 2 seconds without tripping myself. He knows how much trouble I’d get myself into without him around.

What he doesn’t know is how ten-faced I am. How everyone falls for every mask I put on every single time.

And he also doesn’t know how tired I was trying to desperately deceive the person who sees through my every lie.


	2. Scene 2: Past my Past

I’ll admit. I never looked forward to Christmas, not after what happened. But the sight is something to behold.

Sidewalks covered in ice, ponds, lakes and rivers froze looked like an aquarium, frozen at the surface, but fish swam underneath it. Once or twice too many times, I’ve seen a professor of ours fishing. The chill isn’t altogether bad thanks to the warmth you could almost feel emanating from the houses that lined the streets. Colourful lights lit up at night and the cheery Christmas spirit spiralled through the air.

We got to my neighbourhood, starting to finally get the frostbite and relieved to see that oversized box of memories.

“Hey Aiba.”

I stopped. “Hm?”

Nino looked at me again, his mouth moving to say something, but at the last minute Nino thought twice and shook his head. “Nothing. Never mind. I wanted to say hurry up. I’m fucking freezing here. “

“Oh...kay. But you’re the one slowing me down.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Flashing each other a mischievous grin, we sprinted uphill.

\----------------------

We arrived at the door panting, our lungs nearly collapsing and just downright cold.

“God dammit, we shouldn’t do that again.” He struggled to get out in between huffs and puffs.

“But it was fun...ah leave your things there. And come up to my room.”

“Can I use your kitchen for a bit? And shit. Turn on the heater!” Now that he mentioned it, it felt like Siberia in here. I sprinted to the basement and turned on the heater, coming out after a few seconds to watch Nino dressed in an apron get his hands busy around the pots and pans. I stood in the doorway, his back turned to me.

“Oh , you’re making dinner?”

“How does nikujaga sound?”

“Yahoo! I’ll grab the pot.”

“No.” He said, his eyes glued to the fridge and rummaging through it. “I’ll get it myself. Go get the console ready.” He mumbled something under his breath and closed the fridge. “Well don’t just stand there. Get up there and get the console ready.”

“R-right.” Did I just feel heat rush to my head just now? “Sure you don’t need any help.”

“I’d rather not have an airhead around my kitchen.”

I chuckled lightly. _I know better than to argue with that._

With that thought in mind, I started up stairs, leaving creaking sounds behind me.

 

The hallway upstairs contained only 3 things: my room, the master and a ladder that stood in the middle of the hall, leading upwards to the attic door, respectively.  Every time I would go up, the first thing that would greet me would be that, the ladder. Looking back, why did I never leave the house?

After the funeral, my uncle had come to pick me up but I had refused to go with him and insisted and begged to my family to let me keep the house. After a few pushing they finally let up, on the condition that all my finances would be covered by them. Whether it was out of pity or they truly want to look to look out for me, minded me not in the least. I was happy enough assured that I owned the house.

“Ah it’s on. “ I had just finished installing the console and the game, but I could tell Nino wasn’t done yet when the sound of chopping echoed downstairs. I glanced at the clock and estimated the time he would be done.

“I could use some shut eye.”

I plopped myself on my bed and connected me to my dreamscape.

 

It was a blank space. White as far as the eye could see. I was alone sitting in that white terrain, but not for long when a child, around the age of 6 or 7 rushed past me. Suddenly the scenery changed and I was inside a dim house with only the candles acting as a way of light. It was warm, and I realized I was standing by the door, the heat coming from the candles, reaching me.

“Happy Birthday Aiba!” A cheerful face came from beside me.

_Mom_.

“Is that cake!?”

“I baked it myself! Hah!”

This was...that night.

My birthday night. I remember everything vaguely. Food on the table, minimal presents and the hideous cake Mom baked. I remember it tasted as bad as it looked. Maybe even worse. But no matter how bad it was.

“I-It’s good...Mom...”

“It’s that good that it brings tears to your eyes? I must be getting good.”

“Actually it’s not.” Younger version of me sniffed, my mom in turn, looked shocked. “It’s seriously bad. Like what did you put in it?”

“But I did my best to follow the cook book!” she looked down, but I wasn’t done.

“But...” younger me sniffed again. “...it’s better than anything you’ve ever made!”

My mom had tears in her eyes as she hugged me and presented my presents. We were laughing and singing songs and playing jokes with each other. Just the two of us.

 

And then, I was outside. Heavy snow and traffic and a crowd of people were gathered at an intersection.

And in the midst of it all: a heavily beat up Cooper and a heavy truck turned to its side, blood flowing had stained the snow covered roads.

A woman lightly dressed sprawled on the ground.

My hands were immediately on my head. I got to my knees and the last thing I remember was screaming before my dreamscape collapsed.

 

My eyes flew open and there I was lying on my bed, tears trickling on the sides of my face, a figure loomed over me shouting my name.

“Aiba! Shit! What the hell!?”

It took me a few seconds before registering who it was when I smelled the faint scent of condiments and spices. “N-Nino?”

“I ran up here when I heard screaming. I thought there was a burglar, but you were sleep talking, squirming. My God, you’re sweating.” He touched my forehead and wiped off the beads of sweat forming in my brows before looking back to me again, his eyes full of concern and, genuine desire to know what had riled me up so much. “I’ll...get you some water.” He stood up, but I quickly grabbed him by the arm. He didn’t look back though.

“Is...” I gulped, letting go of him.“Is the nikujaga ready?”

“Come down when you’ve calmed down.” And then he left.

 


	3. Scene 3: Time Paradox

It felt like a hassle to get out of bed, but the aroma that floated inside my bedroom gave me enough reason to disobey my feet for once and actually go with my gut.

_Dammit Nino, you left the door open on purpose._

Following the scent of meat and spices mingling with each other, I made my way to the dining room, Nino sitting on one end of the table and staring into blank space. He noticed me come in and stood up and made his way to the sink where all the utensils were. In the longest time I’ve known him, the expression he had on him was something I had seen countless of times.

_Do you know something Nino? Something that would make you look at me with pity?_

I ignored it and made my way inside, a smile wrapping my face. “Uwah, this looks great! Hey Nino, can I get a try? Ah shit, it’s hot. Hey Nino...” the words died in my throat when the sound of a heavy thud echoed throughout the room.

I didn’t want to continue. His back was turned to me and I couldn’t see his face, but I could pretty much tell he was crying. Inaudible, but for sure, the tears were there.

I moved to him as quietly as I could and wrapped him in my arms. He turned to me almost hitting my head leaning onto him, revealing his crying face. It was seriously ugly. But in the time since the incident, not even my family cried in front of me. 

I smiled as I wiped away his tears. “This isn’t like you Ni...!”

And then he slapped me.

He slapped me with all the strength he could muster, and I tell you even without that strength, his hand alone would be enough to knock me to the floor.

“You idiot!”

I looked at him wide eyed. He was still crying, but his face showed anger, his teeth gritting each other. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?! I know you better than that, you dense airhead!”

“Nino...”

“You’re telling me everything right now, or so help me I will force it out of you, understand!?”

I struggled to get up.

“Answer up, fucktard!”

“O-okay! J-just, calm down, yeah? I’ll tell you everything.”

“Good.”

\-------------------

 

Nino insisted we stayed somewhere comfortable as he wanted to ‘beat the crap out of me in case I left out any details’. Not that I was intending to. And it was going to be a novel, so I’d rather sit on the couch than bear the painful wooden chair.

We set the pot in the middle and I started.

“Where to start? There’s so much to go through. Let’s see...”

“How about you explain to me who is making you suffer this much.”

_Wow, he saw through me._ I sighed in defeat. “I wouldn’t say suffer, though. Let’s just say, reminiscent”

“Same thing.”

“My mom.”

“She didn’t...”

“No! If anything she was the kindest person there was. You know how I am? I’m her exact twin. Clumsy, air-headed, always had a smile on her face. She was the kind of person anyone would warm up to. No matter how bad the situation was, she’d just make a joke out of it, and everything would go back to normal.”

“She sounds great.”

“She was. It happened this December too; the day of my birthday, if I recall correctly. It was right after father left us for his woman. It had been going on and I had no knowledge, but mom knew all along. But she was still happy enough to celebrate with me. She made me this horrible cake that looked as bad as it tasted. God, it was terrifying, sometimes it still haunts my dreams.” I chuckled lightly. “But it was the best of all the best she’s ever made me. I’m glad it was, too. Because after that, she met Death.”

Nino wasn’t looking at me anymore. “Don’t look like that. I won’t continue you know.”

“But...”

“I’m telling you this because you asked me to. If you’re just going to be sad, I’d rather not rope you in my sadness.”

“Fine.” He looked at me, his eyes turning red and ready to cry. I laughed inwardly. “Continue.”

“According to what I was told, I was at home fast asleep, when my father’s sister called. My father had gone missing. She told mom to help them find her, as she knew him more than his own mistress did. The mistress had gone missing too. They suspected she was just in it for my dad’s money. Anyway, my mom being the idiot in love she was, left. She took the car and drove out. It was snowing so hard too, so you could pretty much guess what happened. “

The figure in front of looked like he wanted to say something but went against it. I was near to crying as well but was trying to keep it in.

“The next morning what greeted me wasn’t the heavenly smell of Christmas breakfast. No music. No shouting, telling me to come down before she ate it all up. Nothing. I was alone in this house with only the cold December to keep me company. Well until my relatives came by, that is. The afternoon of the same day was the funeral. Everyone of my family was there, but I could care less. Coming to this house was something I thought against. Time and time again I wanted to leave but I couldn’t. How could I? When I can still hear the faint voice of my mother sweetly calling me, telling me she loved me and to always smile for her. I couldn’t leave that alone. So what else do I do? Well...act like nothing happened. Smile like she always did. That would’ve made her happy. I nearly broke down at times to, but I didn’t.”

“WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU?!”

“Hey Nino, don’t raise your voice like that.” He stomped his hands on the table so hard I thought that pot would go flying.

“You should’ve! And you’re wrong! She wouldn’t be happy seeing her son suffering all by himself!”

“What?! What do you know about my mother?! You don’t know what she would want!”

“And you’re not her either! Stop trying to think for others because it’s not right!”

“What are you trying to tell me, huh? That I live everyday showing the world how pitiful I’ve become?” My voice had become unstoppable it had come to the point where I was screaming.

I had finally burst.

“My mom suffered most of her life. She was disowned by her family. She loved a man that left her and got killed for it. But until her very death, she was still smiling! I just did what she would do! Is that so wrong!?”

“She had YOU!” Nino screamed at me, cutting me off. He was standing adjacent to me, tears now rolling down his cheeks. “She had the strength to go on. She smiled for you! She wanted you to smile for others. What you’re doing is hiding yourself in masks just to hide your own sadness. You’re not smiling for others, you’re smiling for yourself. “

I fell silent. Was that really what she thought? Had I been wrong all this time?

“Pretending you’re not sad; forgetting what happened; you’re not just an airhead, you’re also stupid. Holding it all in, when you’ve got me! How can you be so insensitive! You think I don’t know it? Do you seriously think I don’t see how fake those curves on your mouth are? Other people can fall for it, but not me Aiba. I thought you knew me better than that. I hate your smiles the most. “

The room fell silent. I couldn’t say anything, and Nino was still standing, shivering. The last thing he told me echoed in my ears and it hurt. Just when I thought I had the perfect mask, it was torn down by something I had not understood. I felt the dam burst inside of me and I was screaming and crying, clutching onto my heart as if it were some fragile piece of gem.

“Aiba, you are an airhead.” Nino had positioned himself beside me and pulled me into an embrace. “There, there.”

We just sat there. I was still crying, Nino still held me and when I did, I looked at him, and he gave my forehead a small peck. “Tonight I’ll keep you company. So please, smile for me. Smile with all your heart.”

His face moved closer and we were locked in a kiss. Slow and gentle. The next we were in my room, the moon shining on our bare skin as we held each other.

That night, the untouched nikujaga growing cold by the second was the least of our concerns.

And for once, I wouldn’t be alone on a cold December night.

When I wake up, there would be someone beside me, smiling at me, and ready to greet me a happy birthday.


	4. Epilogue: Mornings with Mishaps

“What’s this?” I turned to Nino who was now holding at a familiar miniature white car. I grinned.

“Oh that. How nostalgic.” I looked back to my previous task and continued rummaging through the piles of boxes and whiffs of dust. “Mom used to be a travel agent and she would always be out of the country because of it. But whenever she’d come how, there would always be at least one souvenir from the country she visited. Hmm, not this one either. “Pushing away the stacks of book on one side, I searched somewhere else as I continued. “That’s from Italy, if I remember correctly. Italians mostly owned Fiats if I remember correctly so she thought she’d get me one. Fuck, it’s not here either.”

“Yours was a great childhood. “My hands stopped moving and I felt myself smirk as Nino sat beside me. “Well... it was. In its own little ways.” I smiled as I leaned in for a kiss. It was slow and careful at first, but soon it became an intricate dance of tongues. The contact remained until we were both out of breath. We broke the kiss, both of us heavily panting.

“W-We should probably find that chest.”

“Impatient, aren’t we? Turned you on, didn’t I?”

“Shut up Nino.” He gave me another peck, and I blushed. “You know the answer to that.”

“I do. Hahaha. But seriously though...” He stood up and took in the sight of the attic. “This place is so musty it’ll take years to clean!”

He was right. After that night, I never went up here again. I thought of it, but I never found the courage. Only after waking up, feeling the sun’s heat on my face and the lingering warmth brought about by last night did I find it.

So after a hearty breakfast (and a steamy after-sex in the shower) we made our way to the attic.

In my youth, my mom would often come here whenever she wasn’t playing with me. I’d always wondered why. The reason, I found out that night. I thought I would always hear muttering up here. I realized that was her repeating those words to herself like a mantra.

I also remember reprimanding her internally for not keeping the place clean for when I first entered the attic for the first time, a flurry of dust bunnies landed on my face covering me completely. I was mortified looking at the disarray of the stuff that was there. You’d think it wasn’t the attic but an indoor dump. It was just like her to make a mess and not clean it up after wards.

Coming up here and seeing the attic the same way I left it made me laugh. The same scent of aging papers and the smell of varnish slowly fading.

“Fuck this shit. Where is that goddamned chest?!” As Nino ended his sentence and was starting to walk to the other side, his foot caught on a piece of red cloth sprawled on the floor.

“Watch out!” I bolted to him, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him back but my foot also caught on the cloth and the next thing I remember was falling back first to the floor. A loud thud echoed throughout the small room. I lay on my back and Nino lying on top of me while my hand still gripped his arm. Luckily, my body was able to cushion his fall. My back hurting like hell was a small price to pay for his safety.

It took a while for both of us to regain a hold of ourselves.  

“Fuck, I’m so sorry!” Nino scrambled to get himself off me. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. No worries.” I sat up. “You’re a lot lighter than I thought you were.”

“Idiot, what’s that supposed to mean? Hmm?” He glanced up, a large casket that looked like it had been the thing covered by the red cloth catching his attention.

“Hey Aiba...”

“That’s it!” I exclaimed as I excitedly tore off the remaining cloth still on top of the casket and basked in the nostalgic feel and texture of the finely shaped chest. The smell of old papers pierced through my nostrils. My heart began to throb wildly in my chest as my eyes examined the large chest.

“Aiba? You’re shaking.”

“Aha~ Am I?” I guess I just don’t know what to do, now that I’m actually looking at the real thing. It’s overwhelming, I’ll be honest.”

Arms enveloped me from behind as I felt a body push itself on me. I let myself drown in the warmth it gave me. I didn’t look, but I could tell Nino’s looking like a tomato right now.

An adorable tomato.

“Nino?”

“We can open it together, if you’re that nervous.”

I stroked the hands that held me. “Great idea.”

With our hands clasped together, we reopened my past.

 

We stayed in there in what seemed like forever just going through the many treasures the, now seemingly little casket held. From time to time I would feel myself tear up, but Nino would wipe them away and give me his brightest smile and we would continue, sometimes laughing at my silly drawings, my mom and me’s picture together, sometimes crying at what my mom would write up until the day she died. Sometimes, were even in between. When we had finished, we closed the past once again and stared out the window and then to each other. And then, as if our minds were linked, we started laughing at each other, the sounds bouncing off the walls as we both come to realize that neither of us had noticed the sun coming up to greet the next morning.

 

 

 

-FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because a person smiles all the time, doesn't mean their life is perfect. That smile is a symbol of hope and strength  
> -Anonymous


End file.
